A break.

I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving break. It's rapidly approaching, and I've really needed a break. I feel more relaxed already; I have plenty of time to clean up my room, pack, and get on the road. I wonder if it will snow in New England for Thanksgiving.

Today I was babysitting for a friends 3 year old son and had someone ask me if I was his mother. With his blond hair and blue eyes, I guess I can't blame them, but no, not the mom. The funny part is dealing with bathroom trips. He apparently has a stool he can stand on at home to "aim" but not when in pubic restrooms - toilets are significantly higher, and you don't really want to put a kid close to the germs. So the trick, invented by the little guy's dad was to let him stand on your feet to give him a few extra inches to ready, aim, fire! Good trick.

Back to me-ing?

I don't suppose I mentioned that I was moving in with three male housemates. It's quite different than having one female roommate. I am still getting used to the frequency of dishes/pots/pans left in the kitchen and finding my mail in a variety of possible places upstairs or downstairs. And there is a big "mouse" who finds baked goods and left over delicious dinners and I have to stay on my toes. I think this is a character building experience to say the least.

In the meantime, I noticed that my processing in therapy has been impacted by my adjustment to these changes. I didn't really anticipate that it would, but in hindsight it makes a lot of sense. To figure out so much and to feel it slip away is no good, and I won't let it happen.

Walks in the fallen leaves while holding hands help steady my foundation. I love the fall!

Done moving

I didn't mention it, but the move is done! I've mostly finished unpacking and getting things back in order. The new housemates are so far so good; granted I've spent more time getting to know them than I have getting unpacked. Intentionally. I have my priorities.

And I got that raise I had been meaning to ask for. Woo-hoo!

Its Official.

I signed a new lease this week and it starts on July 1. My current lease ends on July 21, so I have plenty of time to move, and I am ready for the change. I would be wise to gather up some boxes this weekend and start the packing thing. Then, I can figure out if I want to do a gradual move or a one-fell-swoop move.

It's a relief, after so much searching, to find something that will be affordable, comfortable, and closer to work. I am not going to live with my friend after all, instead I have 3 housemates to get to know. I'll be closer to my current roommate and closer to some other friends who have also recently moved. Some within walking distance!

Moving

Yes, moving. That's the biggest change I've been sniffing out since April. It has been quite a roller coaster of scoping out prospective roommates and new places. I have a friend who decided to go the roommate route, so we're looking for housing together.

This is a good thing, I just have to get myself excited again about looking for a place because I feel like I've been looking for so long already. I hate moving and I love it. Once I know where I'm going, that is.

Otherwise I'm keeping myself good and busy. Mostly with work (and I'm asking for more money). The housing hunt is time consuming but I've managed to keep a decent balance and still visit with friends when I've got the time.

Who Moved My Cheese?

If you haven't read this book, it's a good one. It's about change and how we deal with it. In the last month I've been thinking a lot about change, and I think I have been resisting a thing or two that need to be at least considered for change in my life.

I may need to give the book a re-read because I feel a little miffed by the pending cheese move. And there's probably no need to feel this way, but for now I do.

Auto-pilot

This week I feel like I'm on auto pilot. I'm trying to get a lot of stuff done at work so I can take some time off next week to visit with my brother for a few days. It will help to break up the days of work that seem to meld together into one big blur of living.

I'm enjoying the extended light after work, but not the getting out of bed while it's still dark.

Today my therapist called me at work to reschedule, and it might have thrown me off, but that's how life has been lately... everything kind of blends into everything else. One big blur of living. Maybe it's time to mix it up again.

Daylight Saving Time

In one week we change our clocks for Daylight Saving Time. When I flipped my calendar to March and realized this, I was outraged. I looked at an old calendar, and it used to be that this time-switch happened in April! Just when we get used to writing 2008 in place of 2007, they go and take an hour away from our weekend. Who makes that decision??

The deer were back out tonight at dusk for the first time this year that I've noticed. They weren't happy about day light saving time either. All 5 of them.

I can see clearly now...

With my new glasses! And without any more bird poop on my car - if anyone was still concerned about that (thanks to the clean machine car wash guys with their spray cleaner and elbow grease). Also helping with my vision is a friend who refuses to be remiss. How lucky I am!

In unrelated news, I'm considering giving my computer a bedtime. It keeps me up much too late which interferes with my ability to get adequate hours of sleep for optimal functioning. That and the flu is going around like wild fire and I don't want it!

Emotionally drained

I don't know what it is, but I haven't made it through a day this week where I didn't feel utterly and totally emotionally drained. I feel so tired. I took some serious horse-pill multivitamins tonight as a preventative measure. I'm exhausted.

It feels like no matter how much sleep I get, it's not enough.

My Friday night re-coop movie night has ended and it's time to stick a fork in me too. I'm done.

Huzzah! Spell check is working again.

A Day Off

Today is Presidents' Day and I get the day off. It's excellent because I have needed a day off. I slept in, took the long walk around the lake, and ran some errands. It feels like spring. Only without the honeysuckle.

Last week a friend took me to see the UVA men's basketball game (playing UNC) with her free tickets. The game was amazing; even though UVA lost (I've got to root for the home team!). The final score was 75 to 74. I forgot how much I enjoy basketball, since it's been quite a while since I was on a team. I have found my place: I am much better at cheering in the stands than playing on the court. Woo-hoo college sports! Who'da-thunk?

I was going to buy new glasses today, but had to settle on updating my lenses in the current frames. Maybe I should ask for new glasses for my birthday. There were a lot of fun frames to choose from, starting at $95 (withOUT lenses). There's always next year. Or Lasik. Or not.

I'm off to relish the last few hours of sun for the day!

Strawberry Margaritas

Tonight I had delicious mexican food with my friend and roomie. She helped me finish my large strawberry margarita after she downed hers. I needed to get out of the house and relax. Relaxing accomplished.

It was one of those days at work where I just felt drained well before it was time to go home. I couldn't keep working on anything (even though the list is long!) so I revised my to-do list and devised my plan of attack for tomorrow morning. I expect productivity and relief to ensue, and allow for full weekend enjoyment.

That's all for now.

What's wrong with my spell check? 2 nights in a row failed response?? Annoying.

Still there...

The bird blasting, that is. If anyone was curious. The rain is defnitely helping.

I'm taking a really interesting online course on cultural proficiency. It's halfway through the six-week course, and I'm realizing how un-culturally proficient I am. The second half will have us talk about action steps to take and I'm hoping will help.

I'm also hoping that realizing there's room for improvement will lend itself to filling some of that space with improved understanding and knowledge.

An article that I found interesting was called White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack by Peggy McIntosh. I think you can google it if you've never read it. And if I were more blog-savy I would link you there. More room for improvement ;-)

Spell check is not functioning tonight, so no comments on my spelling errors.

Bird Blasted!

This morning I was excited to get an "all day" parking spot so I wouldn't have to do the 2-hour shuffle. My one meeting of the day was walking distance away so I kept my coveted parking.

Until I made my way up the hill to go home. As I approached my car, I noticed some spotting. Not uncommon when you park near a tree in this particular area. Upon closer look, it was clear: my car was blasted in target practice by every bird in the county.

About every 6-square inches of the car covered in bird poop, of the entire car. The front and back windshield and the side windows (admittedly more sparsely covered). I had a fleeting thought that I may be pulled over for impaired vision. I tried to count. 20, 21, 22, 2-that one counts as 5... all on the front. The back window was no better. The color variety was impressive too: tomato sauce, blueberry, green, your standard white. You name it, I think it was there. Car wash will need to be repeated.

A picture is worth a thousand words, I know. Or in this case, however many words I've typed so far. I wish I had a picture for your viewing pleasure, but I do not.

Happy Wednesday, to me.

Horoscopes

This morning my horoscope informed me, "today marks the beginning of a very independent period for you -- enjoy solo time."

Yes, sometimes I buy into this stuff and this is one of those instances. Lately my brain feels so saturated with new information and discoveries that it just wants to lay low. New information with work and discoveries with my life and all the time I've spent in therapy. The work stuff is interesting, but not on a Friday night.

Today I had session #28 of 30 therapy sessions. I'm doing really great; I'm sorting out things I need to sort out. I get frustrated about being "in process" at times. Trick is, getting frustrated only leads to missing out on the journey which is actually the sweetest part of it all. It feels sad to transition out of being in therapy, yet at the same time I don't rely on it like I have in the past. I think that's the point. So tonight, it's not ironic that all I want to do is put on my comfy pants and relax.

I'm wondering though, about the other part of my horoscope that said, "Your love life is getting a boost today, even if you think it's perfect just the way it is. Your own romantic impulses are quite strong and you should find them reflected by the right person."

If my love life can get a boost whilst I sit at home in my comfy pants relaxing - I must be doing something right. Maybe it's more about my own emotional health. Maybe it's just that a horoscope can be interpreted in a lot of ways depending on who's reading it.

Either way, my love life wouldn't mind a little boost.

Reflecting

The only real security is the ability to build your own fires and find your own peace. ~Audrey Sutherland, kayaker and writer.

This was the final quote I read in my 2007 daily calendar of quotes. It sits on my desk where the calendar stand once was, reminding me to continue on the journey of finding my own peace.

If someone could have told me about all the things that would happen in 2007 a year ago, I would have laughed in disbelief. Of course, "it all works out in the end," and all that, and I'm sure 2008 will be no different.

I've met such amazing, generous, and insightful people. I'm so thankful for the supportive network of friends! At the same time, it's as if I've re-met myself and remembered all the things I so love to do and have done them with reckless abandon. I daresay there's no going back! From time to time, I surprise myself with courage I didn't realize was nestled in my soul. It's beautiful what happens when you surround yourself with people who encourage and love you!

When I was in college, I worked for a time as a tour guide for perspective students. When they seemed nervous or anxious, I would encourage them (as I was encouraged at their age) to try to enjoy visiting new places, meeting new people, and exploring... I don't know if they really listened to my unsolicited advise, and I know I had a hard time with it when I received it... but I think I am finally understanding the extent of that message and actually applying it in my life. It took me long enough!